My Healing Journey

I was my own worst inner critic, all the way through my first CCB breathwork session in Costa Rica. Growing up, I witnessed alcoholism, drug abuse, and domestic violence. My mother passed away when I was eleven years old, so my preteen years were met with confusion and instability. It took a village—my extended family—to raise my two sisters and me after CPS stepped in.

Through my adolescent years, I followed in the footsteps of my parents and began to self-medicate, becoming bound in generational cycles. Overwhelmed with distrust, dis-ease, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness, I was caught in a victim mindset—especially because it was my loved ones who wounded me the deepest. I was a thorny, angry teenager whom I struggled to love, and I was shocked anyone else could love me, considering the thick walls I had built for protection. It wasn’t until I had an encounter with God, met my loving husband, and became a mother that I began to love myself. I started stepping into my full potential, developing a growth mindset, and discovering power in creating my own destiny.

Fast forward—little did I realize I was still failing my inner child. How could I step into full freedom without reconciling with the darkest parts of myself? I had been practicing yoga for about six years when I decided to go to Costa Rica for an immersive 200-hour yoga teacher training certification. I wanted to go deeper into my spiritual awakening and healing journey toward wholeness. During my 21-day adventure, one of the assistants mentioned she was a breathwork practitioner and offered a complimentary session to any interested students. She explained that the method would follow a CCB format to achieve an altered state of consciousness, release pent-up emotions, find mental clarity, and experience breakthroughs. I was excited—I needed all of that.

This was the session that set the stage for my future as a breathwork practitioner. She began by framing the session and explaining tetany, as well as the physical and emotional releases that could occur. She mentioned there could be shaking, body movement, laughing, crying, and so forth, but encouraged us to allow anything that arose to happen. We are in control of our experience by simply breathing deeper or slowing down the breath. When she asked if anyone wanted to set an intention, I immediately said, “This yoga teacher training has shown me that I am harboring pent-up trauma from a traumatic childhood that I need to release.”

As the session began, evocative music guided us, and the presence of 20 peers created a powerful collective energy. When we started the connected breathing, she created a sense of safety by inviting us to envision our root chakra grounding into the earth with every breath, while a beam of light connected through our third eye to our higher power. I felt safe. Then I fell apart when she asked us to envision our inner child beside us. She asked, “What message do they have for you?”

My inner child said, “I brought us through the darkest days. I carried us through pain and misery so you could walk into freedom. Be free for us. Walk in success, joy, happiness, and love everyone around us. Can you do that for us?”

My body began to cry and tremble. I was releasing shame and calling in freedom. I thanked my inner child for being brave and surviving so I could thrive. I apologized for misunderstanding her—she was not thorny or sharp; she was strong and resilient. I thanked her for all she had accomplished and committed to becoming the most healed version of ourselves. She was pleased. I felt deeply healed. It was a beautiful experience.

After the session, I felt euphoric for days. I called my husband in tears. He was concerned about what had happened but could clearly sense a shift. I explain breathwork as therapy with yourself. No one knows better what you need to talk about, heal, or release than you do. For me, it felt like ten years of therapy in ninety minutes.

Now I am on fire to bring this same healing practice to others. Stored trauma is an epidemic in America but many of us are unaware that trauma is plaguing our central nervous system. Making this practice available to others feel like a calling. I must pay my healing experience forward for others to experience the same.